It is also important to set boundaries in relationships for your own peace and mental health.
When it comes to maintaining relationships, nothing is more important than having healthy emotional boundaries. Let’s know about it.
It is also important to have some boundaries to keep relationships healthy. Many of us fail to understand the importance of creating and maintaining boundaries. These boundaries help us understand what is okay in a relationship, and what is not. The simplest way to think about an emotional boundary is to draw a clear line between what one should and should not do.
Without any healthy boundaries, relationships can lead to resentment and frustration. The boundaries you create also help you improve yourself by increasing your self-esteem, confidence, and emotional stability.
What are relationship boundaries?
Some boundaries are set in our relationship not only for only happiness and joy in our relationships, but real love also remains. It is also important for your healthy lifestyle and better mental health. When a relationship does not have any boundaries or especially healthy boundaries, it easily turns into an unhealthy relationship and because of that reason boundaries are really important in relationships.
Why are boundaries important in relationships?
You cannot eat the same food every day, even if it is your favorite. Eventually, you’ll get fed up and give it up. Similarly, when you overdo something, you lose interest after you reach a certain point.
This is why you need to set boundaries not only in romantic relationships but in all other relationships, whether with friends or family. These boundaries will help you determine how close you want to get to the person. By setting boundaries in relationships, you draw a line and set a clear understanding of your personal space.
Every relationship should have a defined boundary; Some of which include personal things, beliefs and thoughts. It varies from person to person. One person’s comfort may be another’s limit. Some prefer to be or feel constrained by, without boundaries. Boundaries can be physical or emotional, and defining both is key to a healthy relationship.
Also read: What To Do When Your Relationship Is Over?
Types of boundaries in relationships
7 Types of Boundaries You May Need
- Physical Boundaries
- Sexual Boundaries
- Emotional or Mental Boundaries
- Spiritual or Religious Boundaries
- Financial and Material Boundaries
- Time Boundaries
- Non-Negotiable Boundaries
We all need boundaries in relationships.
Boundaries keep us safe and protected from unwanted things.
Boundaries actually differentiate me from you.
Boundaries exactly help us focus on what’s really most important to us.
And boundaries improve relationships and our bonding by creating clear expectations and responsibilities.
But it can be really hard to figure out what boundaries you really need to set.
What type of boundaries do you need in relationships
One way to perfectly identify your boundaries in a relationship is to think about the areas of your life where you’re experiencing problems. Do you constantly feel exhausted? Do you feel really uncomfortable around your colleagues or coworker? Do you feel resentful of your mother’s intrusions? Each of these problems is directly telling you that you’re lacking boundaries in this area of your life.
Here, have perfectly identified seven common types of boundaries in relationships. Understanding each type can easily help you clarify the specific boundaries that you may need in your relationship.
1) Physical Boundaries
Physical boundaries in relationships protect your space and body, your right to not be touched, to have privacy, and to meet your routine physical needs such as resting or eating. They tell others how actually close they can get to you, what kind of body or physical touch (if any) is okay, how much privacy you really need, and how to actually behave in your personal space in a relationship. A physical boundary clearly defines that your body and personal space really belong to you.
So, maintain physical boundaries in relationship.
When someone sits near you uncomfortably or close to you, you move away or say, I need a little more personal space.
We don’t keep or consume alcohol or any other addicted things at our house.
2) Sexual Boundaries
Sexual boundaries perfectly protect your right to consent, to ask for what you really like sexually, and to be honest about your partner’s sexual history. They define what kind or what type of sexual touch, physical and intimacy you want, how often, when, where, and with whom.
I’d like to be touched like this.
They have a personal view or policy of not having sex or physical on the first date.
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3) Emotional or Mental Boundaries
Emotional or mental boundaries in your relationship protect your right to have your own feelings and thoughts, to not have your feelings criticized or invalidated, and not to take care of other people’s feelings. Emotional boundaries actually differentiate your feelings from other people, so you’re comfortably accountable for your own feelings, but not responsible for what and how others feel. Emotional boundaries also allow us to create strong emotional safety by actually respecting each other’s feelings, not oversharing personal information or emotional history that is connected with your ex-bf or gf that’s inappropriate for the nature or level of closeness in the relationship.
I don’t feel free or comfortable discussing this topic.
I feel really embarrassed and powerless when you chastise me in front of our kids or relatives. I’d like you to stop, please.
4) Spiritual or Religious Boundaries
Spiritual boundaries easily protect your right to believe in what you actually want, worship as you like and wish, and practice your own spiritual or religious beliefs.
I’m going to take a simple moment and say a silent prayer before we eat.
Paul goes to church alone because his partner strictly doesn’t share his beliefs.
5) Financial and Material Boundaries
Financial or money-related things and material boundaries protect your financial resources and possessions, your right to spend your own money as you choose and like, to not give or loan your money or possessions if you really don’t want to, and your right to be paid in time by an employer as agreed.
I’m on a budget or don’t have money, so I brought my lunch from home and won’t be ordering lunch from the hotel or outside today.
Please don’t borrow my car without my permission or without asking.
6) Time Boundaries
Time boundaries perfectly protect how you spend your time. They actually protect you from agreeing to do things you really don’t want to do, having people consciously waste your time, and being overworked.
I reserve my evenings for my life partner or family time. I’ll respond to all office work and emails first thing in the morning without miss.
Dad, I really don’t have time to take you outside or shopping this week. I’ll place an order for you with the grocery delivery service.
7) Non-Negotiable Boundaries
Non-negotiable boundaries are really deal-breakers, things that you absolutely must have in order to feel protected or safe. They usually pertain to safety issues such as physical violence, economic pressure, emotional abuse, drug or alcohol use, fidelity, and life-threatening health issues.
Mom, if you don’t install a protected fence around your pool, my children will definitely not be able to come to your house.
Infidelity is really a deal-breaker for me and I will not continue in this relationship if you fraud or cheat on me.
We all need some non-negotiable boundaries and restrictions, but we also need to be really careful that we don’t put too many of our boundaries and restrictions into this category. If a non-negotiable boundary is going to have any strong meaning, you have to be willing to properly follow through on it. It’s actually counter-productive to set non-negotiable boundaries that you really don’t enforce.
After consciously reading about the seven types of boundaries in relationships, I hope you gained enough information and greater clarity about the relationship boundaries you need to set. I encourage you to write them down properly so that you can strongly hold yourself accountable for creating boundaries to protect yourself, maintain (or establish) your individuality, and perfectly ensure that you use your time, energy, and resources for what really matters most to you.
How to set healthy boundaries in relationships?
Here’s how you can set boundaries to maintain a healthy relationship:
- First and foremost, identify the boundaries you want to set.
- Express your views, talk to them and understand each other’s limits.
- Never second guess the other person’s feelings.
- Make your own priority for your happiness.
- Setting healthy emotional boundaries means making yourself a priority. Honoring who you are, who you are, what you need, your goals, your feelings, everything.
Unhealthy boundaries in relationships
What do unhealthy boundaries look like?
Now that we have a better understanding of how to set healthy boundaries in relationships, now let’s talk about unhealthy boundaries in relationships. Unhealthy boundaries actually involve a disregard for your own and others’ values, needs, wants and limits. They can also easily lead to potentially abusive dating/romantic relationships and increase the chances of other types of unwanted or abusive relationships as well.
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Here are some examples of what unhealthy boundaries may look like in relationships:
- Disrespecting the feelings, values, beliefs, and opinions of others when you do not completely agree with them.
- Not saying “no” or not accepting other’s views when others say “no.”
- Feeling like you are responsible for other people’s feelings and/or happiness.
- Feeling like you are only responsible for “fixing” or “saving” others.
- Touching people or sexual body touch without their permission.
- Engaging in sexual activity directly without clear consent from the other person.
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How to know that the limits are being violated?
Sometimes, it is very difficult to know when we have crossed boundaries. In fact, a relationship can break down if clear boundaries aren’t set and considered.
In order not to violate the boundaries, control your emotions. Watch for warning signs which may include restlessness, instability, fear or anxiety. You may often find yourself doubting your decisions or feeling like something is “not right”.
However, apart from these, if you ever feel that you are being harassed too often, or you feel uncomfortable while having a conversation. Do you feel suffocated in the relationship at any point, then these are very clear signs that your boundaries are not being respected and it is time to have “the talk”.
Setting boundaries in relationships
It is said that the foundation of a relationship is trust, love and good understanding. Love and trust is a personal decision of a person, but understanding can also bring two unknown people closer to each other. But sometimes being too close destroys the personal space of any person, which makes him more irritable, so it is necessary to set boundaries in relationships, so let’s know how to set boundaries in relationships.
5 best ways to set boundaries in a relationships
- Learn to say no
When you love someone, you do everything for him that makes him happy but sometimes doing so can be harmful to us.
The first lesson in setting boundaries in any relationship is to say no to things we don’t want to do.
- Step Up to Get or Give Help
No matter how independent you become, you will definitely have to extend your hand for something or the other in your life, so try to always help your partner.
Helping makes the person in front happy as well as more kind. This is only a boundary because with this you are not putting all the burden of your relationship on the person in front and are playing an equal share.
- Apologize or say thank you without any guilt
Many people think that by saying thank you or sorry in relationships, they alienate each other but it is not so.
With this, you come closer to each other and do not hesitate to ask for help. By saying sorry without guilt, you easily admit mistakes.
- Distribute tasks
Whether it is a husband-wife relationship or a live-in relationship, a barbaric share of chores should come from both partners.
This will not only end the work quickly but also both the people will feel equal in the relationship.
- Do not hesitate for personal space
Personal space not only keeps a person’s physical but also mental health good and active. That’s why talk to your partner without any hesitation for personal space.
So these were the ways to set boundaries in a relationship.
What boundaries do you need in relationships
A relationship becomes happy with healthy boundaries. So need to know how to set boundaries in relationships.
No relationship can be healthy and happy without healthy boundaries. So there is nothing wrong with setting boundaries in a relationship. Know how you can do this.
Every relationship needs boundaries. Whether it is about your friends or your life partner, if some boundaries are not set in the relationship, then the relationship becomes toxic in no time and then there is a little bit of feeling like you feel suffocation from that relationship.
Some boundaries set in the relationship not only allow you to live as a separate personality but also helps in maintaining happiness and love in the relationship forever. Not only this but it is also necessary for better mental health for both of you.
Although it is seen when it comes to a couple relationship or a romantic relationship, often couples think that what is the need for boundaries in their relationship or the boundaries will limit their relationship and they and their relationship will not be able to grow. Will give while the reality is different from this.
When a relationship does not have healthy boundaries, it turns into an unhealthy relationship, which is why boundaries are important. If you also really want to set healthy boundaries in your relationship and want to be healthy, then you can follow these easy and simple tips:
The first step in setting healthy boundaries in any relationship is knowing yourself. You must first clearly know what you really want in a relationship. What are your own desires and expectations or what do you feel comfortable with and what bothers you? When you completely know this, it becomes much easier and simple for you to perfectly manage your space in the relationship and set boundaries.
Since a relationship is made up of two people, it is important that the comfort of both is taken into account when setting boundaries. You might not like your phone is tampered with, while your partner might not want to be disturbed while hanging out with their friends. That’s why you can’t just set boundaries in a relationship with yourself. It would be better that you first talk to your partner and try to know his/her side and wishes as well.
Be absolutely clear
If you really want the boundaries set in your relationship to be healthy, then don’t twist your words at all. Talk to your partner in very direct and clear terms. Do not be diplomatic at all during the conversation. Be very clear about your limits. This will make it easier to negotiate and set boundaries.
Nothing is wrong
When you are setting boundaries in your relationship, the first thing you need to understand is that there is nothing wrong with it. Many times couples do not set boundaries in their relationship just because their partner may feel bad. Apart from this, sometimes girls understand that there are boundaries between the spouses and hence they become guilty. However, you must understand that there is nothing wrong with it. This will help you and your relationship to remain happy forever.
Benefits of setting boundaries in relationships
This is the best option for you, as it provides a clear idea and helps both of you.
Establishing your emotional boundaries contributes to building your personality, which, in turn, aids in higher self-esteem and boosts your confidence.
It can also enhance your emotional health.
These boundaries help us monitor ourselves and our relationships. These are important for self-care and focusing on yourself.
If you feel like you’re frustrated, angry, or being taken advantage of, or losing your individuality, it’s time to reflect.
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